


For Him, The Moon And The Stars

by orphan_account



Series: All my erisol in one heckin folder [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, I might add more chapters in tho, M/M, Pining, breakdowns, idk - Freeform, major pining, semi one sided affections now..??, we'll see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-26 12:11:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7573603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux and Eridan have been friends since childhood. What happens when Sollux realizes he has feelings for Eridan?</p><p>Obviously, cry into his pillow for 5 hours straight....right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Oh Shit

You and Eridan have been friends since kindergarden, despite the fact that your parents outright despise each other. Not to mention that your brothers don’t get along all that well. The two of you have fought a lot too, little dumb spats over toys as kids, over what movie to watch, whether or not to take each other to prom because both of you are sad fucks who don’t have romantic people in their lives, and would rather go with their friend. 

You did end up going together, but that’s beside the point.

Eridan hates your house, something about the house not being nice enough, so the two of you usually sleep over at his house. Used to, at least. Now the two of you are older, and moved out from your parents. Both of you technically live alone, but in all honesty the two of you will stay over at each other’s houses for weeks on end. He may as well live with you at this point. 

You’re drawn out of your thoughts as he calls out, asking for a shirt of yours that he can use as pjs. You throw one from your drawer over your shoulder, already knowing he’s standing in your doorway in his stupid fish boxers. He squeaks a little indignantly at you, and you snort in laughter. 

He runs at you, knocking you down onto the mattress with a big grin on his face. The two of you tussle a little, though he wins (as usual) because of how little muscle you have. You jab him hard in the stomach and he yelps, pinning your skinny frame under his heavier one. You wriggle, struggling to get out from under him, but eventually give in with a little sigh “I fold, I fold, jeez.”

He laughs, relaxing his grasp and rolling off of you “You’re a fuckin’ noodle, Sol.” You snort a little “Yeah yeah.” He huffs, tugging at your shirt. God, you can see right through him.

You know what he wants already.

You tug him close, one arm curled over his waist, the other tucking his head to your chest under your chin. He fits perfectly against you, like a puzzle piece, a little softer around his edges compared to you. He’s still thin from swimming so much, but he’s got a tiny little bit of pudge compared to you.

“ED?”

He hums in wordless command for you to continue, shoving himself closer to you. It’d be weird, but you’ve done this since you were kids when you used to get nightmares, or he got scared of the thunderstorms outside. He still does hide under the bed, if you aren’t there, but still. 

“Thleep well.”

He sighs, pressing his face against your shoulder with a little tired noise. His breath is warm against your neck, and you shudder despite yourself, legs tangling with his. “You too, dickwad,” he murmurs against your skin, throwing an arm over you. 

Shit he’s so cute.

You’re so fucked.

You swallow thickly, cradling his frame against you, hands splayed over your back. Fuck, this is kind of weird. Why is it weird all the sudden what the fuck? You’ve done this thousands of times. Fuck, shit.

His breathing deepens when he falls asleep, warm breath ghosting over your skin. His razor sharp teeth graze your neck, and (unfortunately) it only makes your pulse beat faster like it’s a fluttering bird trying to escape your chest.

Fuck.

You love him.

You really fucking love him.

Fuck, shit.

He’d never return feelings like that, much less to you. Besides, what if you ruined what you already had? You sigh softly against his earfin, feeling it bunch up under your lips. You press a tiny, chaste kiss to his forehead, and tuck him back against you.

You’ll keep it to yourself.

You love him, but it doesn’t matter. You’ll follow him to the end of the earth, if that’s what he wanted. You just want him happy. 

It doesn’t matter what you feel.

All that matters is that he’s happy.

So you push the feelings back, tuck him closer, and ignore the fluttering of your heart in your chest the next morning when he wakes up and hugs you from behind, glasses on slightly lopsided with his hair every which way. 

You can ignore it.

For him.


	2. Is This Awkward To You Too?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dammit, fuck, if things were different he’d kiss him and push him against the wall and leave little mark littering his neck so everyone would know, he’s treat him so good, like the prince he is. 
> 
> …...Dammit, if only things were different.

Sollux can’t say he dislikes Eridan staying over, but now, after figuring out he’s got a goddamn crush on him, it’s gotten….awkward. Well, it’s only awkward for Sollux. He hopes. If Eridan found out, he’d just be teased for it, knowing them.

He’s snapped out of his thoughts by his character dying on screen and he groans quietly, shutting his laptop. He glances over at Eridan, who’s splayed over the couch beside him reading a book of some sort. Probably a history book, knowing Eridan. 

“Hey, ED.”

There’s a wordless groan to continue from the violetblood beside him, and he slips beside his crush friend. “What are you reading?” he asks, getting a book shoved in his face promptly. “Shhhhh,” Eridan urges him, and he snorts in laughter, burying his face to Eridan’s neck.

Eridan’s gills flare out, puffing a little air in his face, only prompting more laughter and an annoyed noise from Eridan. “Ehehe thorry, jutht- it’th kinda cute,” Sollux says, pressing a tiny little kiss to Eridan’s gill slits.

“Don’t touch ‘em! You don’t just go around fuckin’ touchin’ people’s sensitive organs, jeez, Sol.”

He hums softly, shushing Eridan’s anger with an arm around him. “Cuddleth now, bothering you later.” Eridan groans “Why do I put up with you again?”

“...Becauthe you love me?” Sollux offers with a grin, spindly legs tangling with Eridan’s own. Eridan hums in agreement “Right. And you help me with my homework.” Sollux snorts in amusement “That two.”

Still, the words send a lance through your middle nonetheless. He loves you.

He doesn’t love you the way you love him, but still.

He loves you.

As a friend, but it still counts. 

He buries his face against Eridan’s neck, enjoying his warmth “C’mon, cuddle me,” Sollux breathes softly, giving a soft, happy murr when Eridan finally tugs him closer. “Fine, holy shit,” Eridan mumbles, fingertips running through the goldenblood’s hair. 

“Prrrrrrr….~”

Sollux tucks his head under his friend’s chin, breath puffing over Eridan’s freckled skin. It’s nice, he thinks, just laying together like this. He sighs, tucking his arms over Eridan’s waist to keep him close, sapping the slight chill from the aquarius. 

Then he’s reminded this is a couple thing. Couples do this. Couples kiss and cuddle and hold each other close like this, but dammit, fuck. He swallows back the beginnings of a whimper, balling up Eridan’s shirt in his hands. 

He feels like he wants to cry.

How do people deal with crushes, jesus fuck, they suck. The stupid crush can kiss his fucking ass, he’s not going to ruin Eridan’s life with his stupid shit. Yeah.

Remember what happened last time you dated someone? 

Yeah, ended in disaster. 

He won’t do that to Eridan. He’s not going to ruin what they have right now, he can’t lose this, as much as he wants more, more touches, more little brushes, more little wordless nuzzles of affection.

Fuck, he’s pretty damn smitten, isn’t he.

He swallows thickly, feeling the little prickles of tears at the edges of his eyes. Fuck. “Sol..? Are you cryin?” Eridan asks quietly, rubbing his thumb over the side of Sollux’s horn in an attempt to calm him. “Th-thhuddup, I am not- fucking crying,” he says shakily, burying his face to Eridan’s neck. 

“Sol what’s wwrong? C’mon, you can tell me.”

He chokes on a little sob, shaking his head. He probably looks like a huge blubbering mess, ugh. “I can’t- Dammit Eri, I can’t-” he shakes, beating his hands to Eridan’s chest in frustration. It’s soft enough it doesn’t hurt, but enough Eridan knows he’s upset.

“Shhhh...shshsh. Sol, breathe. Can you givve me a hint? Evven a little one?”

He whines, but nods hesitantly anyways. He doesn’t want to tell, even a little hint. Eridan might piece it together, and fuck he can’t lose Eridan. Not now.

“It’th jutht a thtupid cruthh, i-it doethn’t matter. I thhouldn’t bee crying over it.”

Eridan’s fingertips are surprisingly soft over his tearstained cheeks, brushing away the tears. “Hush, Sol.” Eridan knows better than to say shoosh, since the quadrant had never been officiated. It hovers somewhere between black, red, and pale. But mostly pale in times like this.

“On who?” Eridan asks.

Typical Eridan.

“Can’t thay,” he shudders, shakily holding Eridan closer to him. There’s a long pause, then a soft little “Okay,” from the aquarius. Eridan’s hand interlocks with his with a reassuring squeeze, letting Sollux squish his shorter frame underneath him.

“I got you, Sol.”

He sobs sharply, feeling a sharp pang of longing in his chest for the words to be different, selfishly wanting Eridan to love him. Really love him, not as friends. As lovers, matesprites, palemates, kismesis, he couldn’t care, but he wishes Eridan would feel something for him.

“T-thankth.”

“Always, you stupid freak of nature,” he murmurs affectionately and Sollux grins, laughing against Eridan’s frame. “You two,” Sollux says, pressing a shaky little kiss to Eridan’s adam’s apple, a sign of trust between the two not to rip his throat out with his teeth so close. 

After Eridan leaves, he buries his head in a pillow and lets his psiioniics wear him out, let him loose energy until he’s just whimpering that he loves Eridan, that he wishes things were different. Dammit, fuck, if things were different he’d kiss him and push him against the wall and leave little mark littering his neck so everyone would know, he’s treat him so good, like the prince he is. 

…...Dammit, if only things were different.


	3. I Want It To Be You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Save the fishboy(tm)

He still hasn’t braved the topic of romance with Eridan at all, but nows as good of a time as he’s gonna get, considering the warm arms keeping him in Eridan’s lap. He presses his face gently to Eridan’s shoulder with a little mumble “...ED?”

There’s a wordless grunt to continue from Eridan, soft hands rubbing over his back.

“I-...nevermind. It’th not important,” he says quietly, tucking himself closer to his crush. “C’mon, Sol, if it’s important enough for you to bring up, I wanna know. I’m not gonna judge you, if that’s wwhat you’re so scared of.” He huffs quietly, nodding.

“Okay.”

“...And? Out with it, Sol, c’mon.”

“I can’t thtop thinking about it. The cruthh, it’th tho thtupid but..thtill.” He sighs heavily, burying his head to Eridan’s neck. “Wwho is it, dork? Gotta tell me so I can help ya,” Eridan responds gently, his hands dragging softly through your hair. “Nnh- Don’t wanna thay,” he says quietly.

“Just a hint? C’mon, Sol, don’t leave me hangin’ like this.”

He groans loudly, nodding. “It’th a he,” he murmurs, looping his arm around his friend. “Oooh~ Kar?” Eridan asks, and there’s suddenly a ball in his throat that makes him want to start crying. God, he wishes he could tell Eridan but…Eridan’s a royalblood, an orphaner no less. Fuck his entire life.  
“…No. Not KK.”

“Hm…Not Eq is it?”

He makes a face, mildly disgusted at the idea. “Hell no.” Eridan snickers, dragging a hand through his friend’s hair “Figured as much. No harm in askin’ though.” He sighs, nuzzling his face to Eridan’s neck “It doethn’t matter kay? Forget I thaid anything.”

Eridan gives him a disbelieving look “It does if you brought it up, stupid.” He sighs, shaking his head “It’th not poththible for uth to bee together, even if they did feel that way for me.” Eridan grins a little “Why not?”  
“He’th a highblood.”

Eridan’s cheeks burn violet, frowning “…Is it Gam?” He shakes his head, soft and hesitant “No.”

The violetblood looks like if he could die from blushing, he would, bright violet flushing up to the tips of his earfins. “Then who..? It’s a he so it can’t be Fef.” Sollux swallows thickly, shaking his head “Put the pieceth together, idiot.”  
It takes Eridan a couple seconds, then his eyes flash with emotion. Sollux grimaces a tiny bit, anticipating being yelled at, pushed away. Eridan’s fingertips wrap around the yellowblood’s twin horns, sighing “…Why?”

Sollux looks away, frowning. He’s never really thought about it, but.. “I feel like there’th thith..hole, and I want two try two fill it. And if I don’t fit…I’ll jutht do what I can. It doethn’t have to be me, but fuck- you detherve two be happy.”  
Eridan’s earfins flatten and he hisses through his teeth, biting back tears. “I want it to be you. But you don’t, I’m not-”

“Hey, sh,” he whispers, thin arms opening to let the violetblood slip into his arms, cradling him closer. “Don’t cry, it’th okay,” he breathes, pressing a shaky little kiss to Eridan’s hair. 

“It’th okay.”


End file.
